When in Pain… WORSHIP

I learned this from a dear bestie B.

She told me to do this when I was deep in my depression.

And it’s biblical advice.

Psalm 59:16-17 says

God shows us unfailing ❤️

Even in our darkest moments He is with us.

In this Psalm, David says You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me, for you, Oh God, are my fortress.

David even in deep distress was worshipping God.

Praise God in songs through your storm.

Be encouraged. You are not alone. God is your refuge. Your shelter from pursuit, danger or trouble.

Have faith that God will honor your worship.

They call me Mama

Motherhood is the greatest calling God could give a woman.

In Genesis God says be fruitful and multiply.

So I will have all the babies. Lol 🤣

Honestly, no other job compares to this. And it is work. But it’s a responsibility that I take pride in.


You get to pour into a life and leave a legacy behind in the world. What a great privilege.


God rewards what is unseen. Our work as mothers goes on behind the scenes. You feed your children, teach them, bathe them, love on them, nuture and mold them into future leaders and warriors for God.

There is so much we do when no one is looking.

Except our children. They always know. They are our guiding light. And when you hear them speak you see the fruits of your labor.


Your children are reflections of what you say and do. They are little mirrors shining back at us.

They remind me to


Be kind


Be generous


Be grateful


They are always watching and imitating our behavior.

It has not been easy being a mother but my girls make it rewarding every single day. We have struggled with multiple pregnancy loss but this one scripture has been true for us.

Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.
Exodus 23:25‭-‬26 NIV

I thank God and my husband Davie for making me a mother and being the girl’s superhero Papa. We are so fortunate to do this thing called life together. I hope we make our children proud. I hope they will turn to God when they endure struggles. I pray we are good and faithful servants leading them in the word of God. And while we think we are done at two daughters I would honestly love a son.

Let’s see what the Lord has planned. ❤❤❤

Recovery

I am so blessed to be alive and well. I am a miracle and I am here for a purpose. I know God has a plan for my life to encourage and uplift as I share my truth.

God is not done with me yet. He’s been transforming me into his likeness for over 10 years. I was saved to share my story and win souls for heaven.

God has given me a spirit of good courage and I will not stop sharing the gospel in the way I walk, talk and live.

I am in a good season and I am grateful.

January was incredibly hard on my family because of my hospitalization but thanks to prayer and support we made it through and are great examples of what happens in this walk.

God says there will be trails of many kinds but I will be with you. Read the book of James. He says consider it pure joy to ensure trials of many kinds. It’s builds perseverance and character.

I thank God for family, church and a medical team that has helped me adjust to meds and be able to come back stronger and healthier for my two daughters.

It has not been a walk in the park but I know I am not alone.

Be encouraged. God has equipped you for today. Stay focused on the present moment and claim your victory.

I am healing, and writing to be set free. I am standing in my power and God given authority.

I know God will finish what he started. He doesn’t leave my side… and he is with you too in your suffering whatever it may be.

The best way I can spend my time now as I recover is to focus on one thing at a time. Not one day but one moment. God always handles the rest.

Guided by the King

OUR MISSION FIELD IS HERE

LORD YOU CAME BEFORE US

YOU KNOW THE WAY WE SHOULD GO 

WE THINK WE KNOW BUT YOU KNOW BETTER

WE MAKE PLANS BUT FAIL

TEACH US YOUR WAYS 

SPEAK TO OUR HEARTS AND LET US HEAR

YOUR WORD SAYS

DON’T LET YOUR HEART BE TROUBLED 

DON’T BE AFRAID 

THAT AINT EASY 

BUT IT CAN BE DONE

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE

WHO GUIDES US STEP BY STEP

WHAT WE THINK WE KNOW 

WE DON’T 

AND WHAT WE KNOW MEANS NOTHING 

I CONSIDER IT PURE JOY TO ENDURE TRIALS OF MANY KINDS

THIS TRIAL IS BUILDING CHARACTER 

THIS TRIAL IS BUILDING PERSEVERANCE 

THIS TRIAL IS BUILDING FAITH 

YOU MAKE A WAY WHERE THERE IS NO WAY 

OUT OF THE MOUNTAINS WE CRY OUT AND YOU HEAR US

YOU ARE COMING &

YOU ARE HERE

YOUR WILL BE DONE

YOU ARE NEAR TO ALL WHO 

OPEN THEIR EYES AND EARS

YOU WALK WITH US

YOU TALK WITH US

AND YOU TELL ME I AM YOUR OWN

I WILL HAVE FAITH ANS KEEP ON PATH

YOU WILL NOT LEAVE OF FORSAKE ME

No condemnation in Christ

God doesn’t condemn us.

His voice is a gentle nudge to change and transform into his likeness.

The enemy lies and condemns us. Tells us we are not valuable. He makes us insecure and worried. He gives us anxiety.

I’m learning to recognize the difference between the two voices.

I am learning to be still and let God be God.

I am learning I am not in control but God is.

Psalm 23 says God walks with us in our valleys. He will never leave us our forsake us.

I have experienced this truth in the last 30 days.

God is with you in your struggle, hold on to what he has taught you and praise him when all seems to hard to bare.

There’s a saying that does Dont forget in the dark what you learned in the light.

So as I write my stories to encourage and bring glory to God. I am reminded that I too need to meditate 🖐be still and step away to listen to the voice of God above the noise of the world.

It’s easier said than done but I’m trying. And I accept my weakness for when I am weak, God is strong.

I’ve been gone for a while…

I’ve been gone for a while it feels like it’s been longer than 6 days

My mania caused panic and I needed to be hospitalized again

All is well now

I’m resting, pondering and deeply seeking Gods word to put my anxious thoughts at ease

Its a process

I am giving myself grace

God is doing something bigger than me

He is revealing my calling and purpose

He’s molding me in his hands

He is showing me that i must accept this invisible illness

It’s a part of me but it won’t consume me

I am not to feel guilty, ashamed or tormented by getting sick sometimes

The best thing I can do for myself is seek help and be consistent

I will not break

I was born from strong genes that have overcome much more and with God I can do all things

I have faith and that is what keeps me sane

God’s Presence

A very old journal entry.

.

Prayer Starter: Father, thank you for making Your home in my heart. I need Your presence today, Lord. Help me to honor You with my thoughts and my words and to be a blessing to those around me.
Memory Verse: John 14: 23 Jesus replied, Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make out home with them.
I woke up this morning with a prayer in my heart, to obey Gods word.
This year I am making a vow to myself and to the Lord. Not only to spend more time in his word but to share the message of the gospel. I want to share my testimony and moments of my life where God has been revealed to me. I want you to know that Gods love, provision and plans for us are real. His presence in my life has been magnified as I have drawn closer to him and it is just the beginning.
During difficult times last year, I could have gone down a very dark and lonely road. Thanks to a handful of prayer warriors God was with me. I did not lose sight of him. I chose to stand on his word, his promises and to live a life that brings all glory and honor to him.
Not by my own strength but by HIS.
This year will be better than the last because God will remain in the center of my path. I will not look left or right, I will move forward following the steps he has ordered for me and my family. I pray that you will do the same and join me on this pilgrimage towards the life he has planned, it is the life we dream of and desire, that’s what he has in store for us. I guarantee you, it will be better than you can even imagine.

I made it back home

Safe and Sound

Children are fast asleep

Feels like a dream

What happened to me

Focusing in

Relying on God for clarity

He’s answering my

Hearts

Desires

As I rest in his presence

I was just released from the hospital and I am more than grateful to be back on the outside

It feels like prison to be in a psych ward is not something I would wish on anyone

It is difficult to get better around other sick people you agitate each other

You feed off of each other

You have conversations about your racing thoughts and get even more paranoid

I have no idea how it’s supposed to work but the system is broken

So I’m in the hospital because I haven’t slept in over 11 days

I was prescribed a mediation that was not even equipped to treat my symptoms

Broken sleep

Restlessness

Racing thoughts the whole shebang

But I’m placed with a roommate that doesn’t sleep, talks to herself at night and is disrupting the very sleep I need to get better What in the world and I to do

Why are we in the same room

Sometimes I feel it would be best to get well at home around your loved ones in a safe and stable environment

I was placed right outside of the medications room close to the entryway so there was constant traffic, noise, people looking in my room and one lady even tried to walk into my room

It was terrible and I know the medical team tries to manage and do the best they can

I made the best of my time by worshipping God, praying and asking Him to heal me and help me sleep

I felt like a disciple imprisoned and suffering but still praising and preaching the word of God
I missed my girls and felt like such a burden to my family

Here is the bright side

I met a special young man

A prophet I will say someone who loves the Lord proclaims it and like a true brother held me up while I was there

We talked about God everyday

We read specific scriptures and encouraged each other

Where two or three are gathered God is there

So my point in all of this is to say Angels show up when you need them the most and in the most mysterious ways

My friend the Prophet is an angel sent by God

He was there getting well too but he was my accountability partner

God was saying yes being hospitalized sucks but you have to go through the and you will not be alone

I am with YOU